so far timeouts have worked wonders & he gets them frequently for things like fighting against me while i'm trying to get him dressed, fighting me during diaper changes, smacking me in the face when he gets mad & refusing to sit in his high chair to eat. by the end of his timeout, he's usually relaxed & asking to do whatever it was he was fighting me about to begin with. so far, parental success. i'm just trying not to overuse them so they keep their effectiveness & i can keep feeling like i know what i'm doing.
yesterday sam offered parker a bite of his popsicle & parker freaked out when he didn't get the whole thing. obviously this resulted in thrashing & crying on the floor. i told parker, "ok, you can cry but it hurts mommy's ears so you need to go in your room & do it. you can come out when you're done crying." {thanks for that line, lindsey!} i walked him back to his room & left the door open a crack & he continued to scream & yell but stayed in his room. a couple minutes later he walked out & said "all done crying in my room." i was floored. because he really was done crying & seemed to understand what had just happened. who is this guy?
i don't know what i'm doing. i'm making it up as i go & trying to be consistent all at once. sometimes i have to turn away & count to ten to keep from throwing myself on the floor & crying & kicking & screaming alongside him. sometimes i wonder how the heck this sweet little guy can make me so dang frustrated one second & then turn around & melt my heart with his innocence & sincerity the next.
i feel like with every age & stage the polarity between the good times & the bad times gets greater, like he's more challenging than ever but he's also more fun than ever. does that just continue on forever? i don't know if my heart can handle that amount of love & stress.
someday we'll be trying to figure out what to do when he stays out past curfew or skips school. or maybe he'll talk back to a teacher or get caught cheating on an assignment. but i'm pretty sure he'll still find ways to amaze us & make us more proud than we thought possible.
until then, i'll just enjoy the days of oatmeal in my hair & timeouts. seems easy enough.
I feel you! Time outs work great for us too. And when I'm having a bad moment, I just remember how patient my mom was with me... And I was a super brat!! Lol.
ReplyDeleteOh disciplining a toddler...I am a zero tolerance parent, compared to my husband who takes more than I could ever handle, but we haven't had too much success with timeouts, instead, I take toys away and he can earn them back if he wants to play with them. And I'm very firm, always, no wishy-washy this or that with anything, that seems to keep things very clear.
ReplyDeletesounds like you are doing such an amazing job and you can just tell what an awesome mom you are! toddlers are the best in good times and bad!! he is one cute little boy!! :)
ReplyDeleteoh pie has been a little nut lately with pushing boundaries. she's making us crazy, but seems to respond pretty well to everything we try discipline-wise. just started with the loss of an item/toy if it's involved in the issue. so if she throws a ball at my head out of anger instead of just forgetting to let me know we're playing catch (which happens a lot - or she yells catch after she throws. good times) then she loses the right to play with that toy for however many minutes. it's been really effective because she hates losing her toys!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing awesome, in my opinion... Sounds like you have it figured out regarding what's ahead too. I hate to mention though that the next little guy likely could be different. What works with one child may not with the other and may not work next week. You truly make it up as you go along ... I would think blogging is a great way to process the events of the day -- good job! :)
ReplyDeleteI hear ya, Amy -- making it up as I go along while trying to be consistent! So glad the timeouts are working for you!
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you! It's such a rollercoaster. They use the "Time-out" method at school and it works pretty well. But, when we try it at home it doesn't go so well. He just screams and runs back to me and then follows me around with his fit. Hmm...
ReplyDeleteSounds good to me! You're right - consistency is the key! Don't make "empty threats" because they'll learn that they're just that. I see my SIL's (minus one) do this all the time "eat all your supper or we're leaving!" the kids never eat, the moms never make them leave...no one wins, etc. You're doing a great job. We do time outs with Braden and it works wonders.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've got it all figured out! Good job mama!
ReplyDeleteOne time out! WOW thats it? just wait! Toddlers are so much fun! Love them. Being a parents is the most rewarding job, but most frustrating at the same time!
ReplyDeleteok. can you please come over and explain to my toddler that a time out "until you are done crying" because you are hurting mommy's ears means stay in the room until you are done crying.
ReplyDeleteNOT slam your hands on the door and scream louder. NOT open the door and come out 356 times.
man. if only
Sounds like you are doing a great job! We haven't had to use time-outs yet, mostly still in the trying to talk things out stage, but I know it is in my near future! Yikes, these crazy little people!
ReplyDeletethis is exactly what i am going through with owen!! you are doing a great job momma! and oh my word he is sooo cute!
ReplyDeleteHow do you enforce time out? Do you have a place that you sit him in and ask him to stay? How does he stay? We've been needing more and more discipline as Peanut is learning the world around her and naturally testing every limit. So far we've been placing her behind a gate the separates the bedrooms and the living area (where we are) but as of a week ago that stopped being effective because she goes exploring in the bedrooms!
ReplyDeleteThis makes me feel better that I'm not the only one. I feel like Ava is testing me constantly and I'm the one that has the problem because I have no patience, but really it's just the stage they are in. We're doing time out too, but getting Ava to stay is another issue. I make her sit in the corner because her room is upstairs, but maybe I should start sending her to her room. Always feels better to hear your not the bad mom you feel like you are :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the timeout success! I have never gotten JD to sit successfully for an entire one, but 99% of the time just saying, "you will get a timeout if you continue to do X" works.
ReplyDeleteTimeouts at that age were so hard for us! I'm glad they're working for you. I do think once you have stuff figured out he'll change and then you'll have to adapt too. It's tough. I have no idea if I'm doing it right either, but I figure it's supposed to be hard, or we'd be doing something wrong. :)
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this today. Lately Alexa has been acting bat%*#* insane. She doesn't seem to "get" timeouts, even when I threaten them she just laughs maniacally. And it's sooo hard to stay calm. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds all too familiar! Time outs are working for us, too {knock on wood}! The other day, Maddox freaked out, ran over to the blinds & began running his hands all over them, totally screwing them all up! Before I had the chance to say anything, the stinker turned around, looked me dead in the eye & said, "time out?" Yep! How'd you guess! I had to leave the room before I died laughing! Oh, these boys! These boys!
ReplyDeleteI have no advice about discipline. But I do miss that cute face.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post Amy! Sounds like you are a pro at this parenting thing! Seriously, I think you are doing a great job and I couldn't agree more about the time outs! I love that you let him cry, but in his room! Makes sense and he seemed to get it which is even better!
ReplyDeleteThat is so cute what he said. I can't get Brayden to do time outs yet. :/ Usually me counting to 3 sternly calms him down. I can't get him to sit in a chair or stay anywhere though.
ReplyDeleteI could have written this! My daughter turned 2 in mid-April so we are in the same boat (not to mention that I am also due with #2 on 8/23!). It is so amazing how simultaneously infuriating and awesome they can be! Thanks for writing this - it is nice not to feel alone.
ReplyDeleteThis is my life. Sky goes from being an adorable, funny, loving kid one second to NOTSOMETHINGVERYNICE the next minute and it's so hard. Time outs work a little but he just gets more and more upset while he's in them to the point where he's screaming/crying/convulsing....sometimes we send him to his room to calm down and that works too. My husband is better at discipline stuff. :(
ReplyDeleteHi there! I'm new to your little slice of the internet and I must say this post couldn't have been a better first post to read!
ReplyDeleteI often feel like I have no clue what I'm doing in the discipline area so I'm glad to know I'm not the only one making it up as I go. I am definitly going to try that line on my son, we can't get him to sit still for time outs so have been resorting to "quiet time" in his crib. Which really means he screams his head off for 2 minutes and then is fine. I hate confining him to his crib though, I don't want him to start thinking of it as a bad place and start acting up at night! I like your plan much better! I'm sure he'll give me plenty of opportunities to test it out soon!
I feel like you just got into my brain. This is definitely how life is with Addie (my 3 year old). If it makes you feel better, the percentage of good times vs. stressful times with my 8 year old are about 90% good to 10% stressful, whereas with Addie it's almost the opposite...but the weird thing is, even during the stressful times she can do the funniest/cutest things, but it's hard to stop and laugh/appreciate them because she is also driving me nuts in that same moment! Parenting is hard. Thanks for being relate-able. :)
ReplyDeletewhat a cute little stinker!! I can only imagine what it is like, since I am just 11.5 weeks pregnant with my first! I have been trying to prepare myself for these days! :)
ReplyDeleteoh and seriously how adorable "ok I'm all done crying in my room now" ! so cute/ adorable/grown up!
ReplyDeleteToddlers are sooo strong willed and oh so hard. But yes so fun and exciting at the same time. My little guy is going through some trying times with us right now at 3 and a half. I thought we must have skipped over that terrible two things. But seems it just came a bit late. Time outs don't really seem to do a thing for him but we keep at it. Because at the end of the day it's all you really can do, be consistent and provide them with love. Great job mama!
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