april 8, 2010

{in case you missed last week's flashback friday, you can check it out here.}

we're counting down to p-ray's first birthday & for anyone else keeping track, the big day is in t minus eighteen days.  in eighteen days my baby will have experienced 365 days of life.  one trip around the sun.  all four seasons.   every holiday.  all twelve months.  and perhaps most importantly {to his dad at least} baseball, basketball, & football seasons.

but before all that, one year ago today, we were here.  thirty-seven weeks pregnant, a belly that defied gravity, a back that felt like it belonged to a 90 year old woman, & a full-term baby boy tucked away inside getting stronger by the day.

the thought of being thirty-seven weeks & technically "full-term" was crazy exciting.  it meant parker could be born any day & he wouldn't be a preemie.  his vital organs were fully developed & at this point, he was just inside hanging out & getting fatter.  which i was ok with because well, who doesn't love a fat baby?

one year ago today i was finishing his nursery, ordering his bedding, buying his sock monkey, & washing & folding all his tiny baby clothes.  and now?  he's spent a year sleeping on those sheets, he's been measured up against that sock monkey once a month twelve times, & he's outgrown all those teeny tiny baby clothes.

and he's become this silly little boy who greets me every morning with a smile & giggle & squeezes me around my neck when i pick him up out of his crib.  who reaches out to me & says "mama" when i walk into a room.  who has relied on me & sam to care for him every single day of his life.

and who likes to snuggle with me on the couch after i've been away at work for a day.

i've been ok with the last twelve months speeding by.  but now?  i want time to stop.  now it is going way too fast & i feel like my baby isn't just changing anymore, he is disappearing.

so if someone could just tell me how to keep another twelve months from going by, i'd be much appreciated.  thanks.


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